How I was stateless for 3 minutes

Stateless.

If you watched the Steven Spielberg, Tom Hanks movie “The Terminal” you would know that being stateless can turn into a 1 hour plus movie. For those who didn’t watch, here is the recap (click here)

As I was checking in to JKIA, Nairobi this morning (4th June 2022) for a local flight, I used my ID to check in. When boarding I couldn’t find my ID. My heart stopped for a while, there is a swahili saying for that “niliskia roho imeanguka kwa tumbo” (not your typical wahenga saying).

My flight to Mombasa was boarding and I had no way of telling them “hey trust me, it’s my name on this boarding card”. So I dashed back to the counter and security check but to no avail. I took one staff’s number just incase they find it and I’m 33,000ft above.

I get confused for a lot of Nationalities. Some security guard has doubted my Kenyan(ness) some time back. The picture in my ID (taken after I got drenched in the rain) looks like a guy from the (again) Tom Hanks Somali Pirate movie. Egyptians, Algerians and Tunisians think I look like them, Indians think I am from West Bengal. Malaysians think I am from Sabah. Sudanese think I am from Kesela. Omanis and Tanzanians think I am Zanzibari. Ethiopians think I am some snob from Bahir Dar pretending I don’t speak Amharic just because I live in Kilimani, Nairobi (which I don’t). Last but not least, I have guys in Mombasa my very own hometown who think I am from Mambrui or Malindi:)

This got me thinking, many people in Kenya lose IDs at Mpesa shops and other services. Every-time that happens you have to queue at a Huduma Center, they will ask for a copy of your grandmother’s mother’s birth certificate and take fingerprints just incase they don’t already have them. You have to wait till God knows when to get a new one. (All that while some security guard won’t let you in to some building to get a sandwich because you may not be Kenyan). Then maybe you will find your old ID and now you will have two Nationalities (of the same country 🙂

If I had my number printed on my ID, someone would have called me and tell me, we picked this up (come with some sort of ID to pick it up – or legal tender: ). If the Mpesa crooks pick it first, they can replace my sim card and pretend to be a heavily indebted version of me (they will use my phone to borrow from fuliza and Mshwari/Tala/etc)

I have had this thought for a while, why can’t we have an sms service (send the word LOST ID to 2099)or some post office box that we send lost documents (a service posta can offer for free or for a fee paid by the document owner). I know there are bureaus that hold lost documents in CBD/ Nairobi.

Some years back, there was an informal way of getting any documents lost through a robbery within CBD. While a national solution to this could be hard to implement, I am sure the benefits will save the government a lot of money. What do you think? Share your thoughts below

Finally I found my ID (the longest 3 minutes at the airport). The waitress at the restaurant picked it up and she was looking for me (i look nothing like the picture in my ID). It probably fell off when i pulled my boarding card from the pocket. I rewarded her (please don’t ask how much). I’m now 🇰🇪 Kenyan again! Incase I have not mentioned this anywhere, I love my country!

 Note: In my wallet, I had Senegalese currency, I have not yet been confused for a senegalese before, but a guy with a lost ID, a few Kenya shillings and a few Thousand Senegalese currency?? Hmmmm! Sounds like a nice script for a movie:-)

I know hairloss has not yet been declared a National disaster but, the guy in the ID has more hair and looks way more younger than me.